KNOW. I paced the living room for the 47th time in the middle of the night. My sister had gone to bed so there was no more texting her about what a contraction felt like
He wasn't due for three weeks. I KNOW it never goes to plan but that's all I kept thinking. I had done this twice before and yet it felt like a brand new experience. I had never had contractions. I had never gone into labor. I had never paced a room thinking that when I can't walk thru them then we should go to the hospital. At least that's what TV said right
He continues to surprise me to this day on what I think I KNOW about being a mother, being patient with a strong willed child, and instilling confidence in a little boy that showed up three weeks early. They say that pieces of their personalities are there from birth. He wants to do things on his own terms and in his own time.....still.
I KNOW I can't protect him from everything but I will try to protect him from most things. I KNOW it is my job to tell him that he is a 'super smart boy and can respond loudly and proudly when he knows an answer' in school because it breaks my heart to watch tears well up in his eyes and his breath get heavy when he is called on even during a zoom call.
I KNOW that if I do nothing else for him I will spend my entire life showing him what I already KNOW- he is loved. He is amazing. I will tell him until HE KNOWS.