HOLD PLEASE. I caught myself doing the thing I always do when I am stressed- holding my breath. I can honestly say I haven't taken a deep breath in weeks. Even when I am teaching/practicing on my mat I get winded easily because my body's response to stress is breath holding.
If you have ever been thru a tech rehearsal you hear the words 'hold please' a lot. And I mean A LOT. You wait, frozen while they adjust a light, a cue, a dancer and then you start again. My summer before my Junior year I busted my butt to get a part in the spring musical. I signed up for a ballet class and jazz class. I took extra singing lessons and researched and memorized songs from various decades of musicals. I managed to finally get called back. I landed the ONLY part in No No Nanette that had zero singing and zero dancing I managed to get the part doing something I have been great at my whole life- making things up and making people laugh.
Hold please. The outside world is on hold and for the past few weeks I have been required to study hard and learn new things- did you know I am a teacher and videographer now?!- to prep for what is to come. Since no one told my brain to 'hold please' it spins out of control and I find myself holding my breath....again.
HOLD PLEASE is hard. It is really flipping hard, but rather than learn a new thing I am going to try doing the things I am good at and allow me to breathe deep- design, play games, crochet, yoga, make people laugh, walks with the boys, check in with friends, make desserts (lazy Betty pie is up next!). The world is on hold. My brain and heart are not. You are not. Your talents are not. Your love is not. Your strength is not. Get upset. Cry about the unknown. Catch yourself holding your breath. And then adjust the lights and start moving. HOLD PLEASE doesn't mean forever. It means until the next cue.
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